Proud

Lindy,

I am so proud of you.

Professionally, personally...you are the bee's knees.

Congratulations!

I gave up

I have given up on you. I wish you would understand, but you don't. I have tried to make you understand; so have others.

You don't.

You won't.

I don't know what else to do.

I give up.

Sad :(

They fired my boss today. I am devastated. I am confused and a little bit freaked out. I never worked for a better person who was so committed to his company and employees. He took great care of all of us. He gave a shit and he really knew his shit. I didn't get bonuses because I'm not a supervisor, but when he did, he would slip me hundreds of dollars out of his own pocket. He is kind and well liked. He would send me out to a baseball game during work hours with the best seats and would tell me not to come back until the next day. He would send me to the best restaurants during work hours to take a 4 hour lunch with some of my work buddies. He would help me with my job in every way. He got a HUGE raise approved for me. He knew I worked hard and knew my shit. He recognized me for what I did. I looked at him as a father figure. He went to my wedding and I went to his. I love him dearly and I miss him already. When they told me today, I lost it. I cried like a baby. They told us all one by one and we each walked out crying. One co-worker kept saying "What the fuck are we going to do now?" He couldn't hold it together and had to leave. Our boss really became such a huge part of our lives. He gave us all a chance and gave us a better life, because he saw something in each of us. I bought my first house. Became a wife. My daughter has a stable life with more than she needs. My life is good. When he hired me, my self esteem was in the dumps. He coached me to feel good about myself and be proud about what I do and who I'm still becoming. It's a sad day for me and my work buddies. You don't come across many people like Jay. God bless him and his new family. We love you Jay.

God its been a lovely day! Everything is going my way, I took out the trash today and I'm on fire...

In the last month, I have managed to piss off several people, including my family and friends.

Chances are, if you are reading this, I probably pissed you off too!

Here's the thing: I just don't give a fuck anymore!

I'm just going to be as selfish, thoughtless, and self centered as everyone else and we'll see how that pans out for ME. I've tried to be conscientious, but apparently, that all ends up being a bunch of bullshit anyway.

So, FUCK IT! Everyone have a lovely motherfucking day!

Burning with the Devil................

A friend of mine recently moved to St.Louis and we both majored in social sciences.
Whilst carving pumpkins together the other evening, we were watching scary
movies and discussing sociopaths. Mostly because we were watching Halloween
and we were discussing how even though true sociopaths can be violent, the thoughts that most people have of sociopaths are inaccurate.

Typically, when one thinks of sociopaths, they think of serial rapists and serial killers. 
People who are violent with no purpose. While serial killers, rapists, and some prisoners are sociopaths, most sociopaths walk among us.  

I pulled out my trusty DSM IV and this was the description listed for Antisocial Personality
Disorder:

Although antisocial personality disorder is only diagnosed in people over age 18, the symptoms are similar to those of conduct disorder, and the criteria for diagnosis include the onset of conduct disorder before the age of 15. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th Edition Text Revision (DSM-IV-TR), people with antisocial personality disorder demonstrate a pattern of antisocial behavior since age 15.

The adult with antisocial personality disorder displays at least three of the following behaviors:
fails to conform to social norms, as indicated by frequently performing illegal acts, and pursuing illegal occupations
is deceitful and manipulative of others, often in order to obtain money, sex, or drugs
is impulsive, holding a succession of jobs or residences
is irritable or aggressive, engaging in physical fights
exhibits reckless disregard for the safety of self or others, misusing motor vehicles, or playing with fire
is consistently irresponsible, failing to find or sustain work or to pay bills and debts
demonstrates lack of remorse for the harm his or her behavior causes others

The typical trend to Antisocial Personality Disorder is Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)*I met the criteria for this as a teenager. Trust me*, Conduct Disorder, and then, eventually Antisocial Personality Disorder. Now, this is not set in stone. Some people skip ODD and go straight to Conduct Disorder, followed by APD. Some stop at ODD and generally grow up and grow out of those behaviors as an ongoing way of life. It depends on the person and the combination of both the person's internal
factors and environment.

The thing that I find odd, which I always find odd about media portrayal of mental illness, is that the depiction of a sociopath is that of a hideous monster, someone who is easily spotted in a crowd. Not so. Sociopaths are very very adept at hiding their personality.  

The DSM definition also paints a picture of an insane, out of control, violent
individual and the examples are poor. The DSM, because it doesn't need to, also does not mention that sociopaths, ironically and not so ironically, are the least likely to seek out therapy for their behavior.  They see life as a series of moves
and sees the therapist as another pawn in their life.  The therapist is often able to see through the facade of the sociopath.  The sociopath hates that because they have worked very hard at keeping others from seeing their true selves.

While Michael Meyers is a sociopath, I would advise checking out this link.




 

An Open Letter to the tool at the Chinese restaurant

Dear Tool at the Chinese Restaurant,

Really?

You really think you can pull that off? Most movie stars can't pull that off, let alone Mr. Self Important Tool.

The minute I saw that Bluetooth, I admit, I dropped my fork. I then imagined myself kangaroo hopping across two tables, jumping on your back, digging my heels into your thighs, biting off your ear, and spitting a bloody Bluetooth on the floor. I envisioned you screaming and hitting at your back as I thrashed around and the Bluetooth bounced across the floor in slow motion.

Seriously. No one, and I mean no one, is that fucking important that they must dine with the Bluetooth attached to their head. EVER.

Then, I realized you had the sunglasses on top of your head.

Why?
Why?
Why?

I arrived before you when it was night. I assumed when you arrived ten minutes later that it was still night. Why are sunglasses even on your person, let alone your head, as if you wore them in? Then, you had them on top of your head as you walked around the entire restaurant with your hands in your pockets, Mr. Smarmykins. Are you pretending to be a secret service agent? Or are you just naturally an asshat?

I had to think of a name for someone this ridiculous, this self absorbed, this tooly.

Here it is: Bluedouche

That is right. My sniglet for any self important jerkass that wears a Bluetooth device and sunglasses inside at night is Bluedouche.

Any person that talks incessantly on a Bluetooth in a public place, thus making you think that they are insanely talking to themselves, only to realize that they are just as ass is a Douchetooth.

Brothers of the Head and Little Miss Sunshine

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